Episode #2 - Who’s Driving? Not Me, Apparently...

Month after month, I’ve been overwhelmed with frustration that my life isn’t progressing. It’s felt like a sick joke — every time I take one step forward, something knocks me back, and I end up in the exact same place.Ever since I moved home, it’s felt like I pressed pause on my life — and then lost the remote.

After all the blaming, spiralling, and overthinking… I finally clocked it:

I’m the reason I’m still stuck.

I’ve been making excuses. I’ve been blaming everyone (and their nan) for my lack of progress. And I’ve been giving my power away — completely.

No one took control of my life. I handed it over.

And once I realised that, I had to figure out how to take back control of my life — for real.

The Daily Blame Game

I thought I was past blaming others for my circumstances. I thought I’d grown. And in a big-picture way, I had. When I zoom out and look at the past year, I only blame myself.

But day-to-day? I was still pointing fingers — subtly, automatically — and I didn’t even notice.

Here’s what that looked like:

★ Blaming my lack of time on other people

★ Blaming my inability to focus on others’ problems

★ Blaming the weather for my lack of motivation

★ Blaming tiredness after 9–10 hours of sleep

★ Blaming people’s energy for me feeling drained

★ Blaming society for making my dream life hard

★ Blaming my past self, my last brain cell, even the chocolate in the cupboard

And on and on…

Valid Feelings vs. Comfort-Zone Excuses

Some of these reasons are actually valid.

The weather does affect your mood.

Being around negative people is draining.

Rest is essential. Boundaries matter.

Listening to your body is important.

But my twisted little mind started using these valid reasons as clever excuses to stay in my comfort zone. So creatively, I genuinely thought I was “doing what’s best for me.” Lies.

So I had to get brutally honest: What’s real, and what’s keeping me stuck?

Not easy. Especially when you don’t fully trust yourself. But it’s trial and error — and it’s getting clearer with practice and a f*ckload of patience. Questioning every single thought.

What helped was realising this:

Your body talks in feelings.

Your mind is the chatterbox — and a deceiving little minx.

Taking My Power Back

No one was out here demanding my time, focus, or energy. I was just throwing it around like freebies at a festival. I was letting it all happen.

I had to start:

• Saying no when I didn’t have time

• Waking up earlier so I could handle my stuff before helping others

• Stopping myself from jumping into every problem around me

• Reminding myself: Their life is not my responsibility. My life isn’t theirs.

I was letting other people’s lives take over mine.

They weren’t doing it to me. I was doing it to myself.

Why? Because I was scared.

Scared of what I’d find if I actually focused on myself and my dreams.

Failure? Confirmation I’m not good enough? Realising I’d made a mistake choosing this path?

It was easier and more comfortable to pretend it was everyone else’s fault.

Hard pill to swallow.

But I realised: staying stuck is actually way worse than any of those fears.

So Now What?

How do I focus on myself in a healthy way?

How do I get things moving again?

I was so used to living outside myself, I had no idea how to come back.

The Tool That Shifted Me

So I started researching. The first thing I came across was a talk by Joe Dispenza. (Link below — I literally listen to it daily. Sometimes twice.)

When excuses creep in, I put it on.

Side note: I don’t agree with the whole sacrifice sleep thing. Sleep is vital. But I realised I was using that as an excuse, too. I’d sleep enough, then convince myself I still “needed rest” just to avoid the day.

So now I’m figuring out:

• How much sleep do I actually need?

• Why is getting up so hard for me?

  
  

If you’re also in the “why can’t I get out of bed” boat — stay tuned. The second I crack it, I’ll share. And if you have the answer — please, spill your secrets.

The “Excuse” Trick That’s Actually Working

Anytime something pops up that smells like an excuse — fear, craving, sabotaging thought — I just say: EXCUSE or DISTRACTION. Then I keep going.

Sounds silly. Works wonders.

What’s Changed Since I Started Taking My Power Back?

Small shifts:

★ I’m starting to spot what’s real vs. what’s a bullsh*t excuse — slowly

★ I’m learning what setting boundaries actually means (and how to do it)

★ I’ve realised you can focus on yourself without being selfish

★ I’m understanding how much better everyone is when you focus on you

★ Life feels lighter knowing I don’t have to be in everyone’s business

★ It’s empowering to know I’m in control — and it’s up to me to make things happen

Moral of the Story

If you feel stuck — like life is just dragging you along — check where your focus is.

Check who’s holding the keys.

Because you might be handing over your power without even realising it, like I was.

This is your life. You’re 100% capable of doing whatever the hell you want with it — but only you can take that first step.

So here’s what helped me:

Resources:

🎧 MOTIVATIONAL TALKS:

• The Power of Focusing on Yourself and Your Dreams – Joe Dispenza (Listen here) - Spotify

• When You Focus on Yourself & Stay Silent, Everything Falls Into Place 

• – Mel Robbins (Listen here) Youtube

✿ Love both of these — motivational with a tough-love edge (my favourite kind)

🖋️ OTHER BLOG POSTS:

• Taking Control Of Your Life: A Guide To Self-Empowerment

By Margaret Martinez – Mental Mastery LAB (Read Here)

✿ Clear, straightforward, and packed with genuinely helpful info

• 25 Journal Prompts to Help You Get Unstuck

By Sam Brodsky – WONDERMIND (Read Here)

✿ LOVE this site — so many helpful posts + tools and the visual layout is chef’s kiss

📖 BOOKS:

• The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage  – Mel Robbins - Absolutely loved this book and absolutely love Mel Robbins.

 ✿ Buy Here

• Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life  – Gary John Bishop

A real tough-love gem. Shakes things up in the best way.

✿ Listen on Spotify (Here) OR Buy Here

(I may earn a small commission if you purchase—at no extra cost to you!)

📄 PRINTABLES & WORKBOOKS:

Who’s Driving? Self-Check Workbook (Download here)

A workbook to help you get honest, get unstuck, and take back the wheel.

Taking Aligned Action Workbook (Download here)

For when you're ready to stop just thinking about change and actually do something

— the aligned way.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk about any of it 💌

With love,

A Weird Little Life ♡