Episode #1 - Self-Acceptance: The Monumental First Step

I wanted to start with self-acceptance because it’s where my whole ‘sorting my sh*t out’ journey really began.

Self-acceptance isn’t about suddenly loving every part of yourself. It’s about finally facing who you are — without judgment — and deciding to stop fighting yourself.

For the longest time, I thought I had to be perfect to deserve happiness, love, or even just peace of f*cking mind. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t and feeling like a total fraud. The more I chased perfection, the worse I felt. It wasn’t until I started focusing on self-acceptance — not perfection — that things finally started to change. (And trust me, it wasn’t easy.)

The Wake-Up Call

About a year ago, I hit a point where I couldn’t stand who I’d become. Zero self-love. Just pure self-hatred and a trail of chaos, regrets, and more embarrassing moments than I’d like to admit.

I was a steaming hot mess — chasing love, praise, and approval from everyone else, desperate to feel good enough. I had turned into a people-pleaser and a coward — constantly worried what people thought of me, always on edge. Alcohol became my fake confidence, and overdoing it led to absolute scenes. Horrific ones.

The result?

A lovely cocktail of shame, guilt, fear, self-hatred, and not having a f*cking clue who I actually was.

When I finally saw what I'd become, it was unbearable.

It wasn’t just about what I'd done — it was the ugliness I felt inside.

The Trying (and Failing) to "Fix" Myself Phase

I was traveling when the realization hit, and when I got back home, everything collapsed.

I was disgusted with myself and just wanted to run — from my life, my choices, my own reflection.

I became obsessed with how awful I thought I was. And paralysed by the idea of all the “work” I needed to do to become a perfect, healed human.

Perfect + Healed = Absolute nonsense.

Of course I was getting nowhere.

How could I ever love myself when perfection was the standard?

Then I thought: Maybe I just need to start by accepting myself.

Bingo.

And that’s when I found Tara Brach and her book “Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love that Heals Fear and Shame”. This book gave me hope - and it made me understand what self-acceptance really means. It honestly changed everything for me. For the first time, I had a real starting point.

"Radical acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is. Only then can true healing and transformation begin.” — Tara Brach

The Shift

Self-acceptance looks different for everyone. For me, I decided to see it as the stepping stone toward self-love — a monumental one.

At that point, loving myself felt impossible. But accepting myself? That felt slightly more doable.

I didn’t have to love everything — just accept it was there.

I’m 30, and I’m only just starting to accept myself.

It’s hard and some days are brutal.

But every day, I accept myself a little more.

And here’s what that looks like for me:

★ I’m spending less time beating myself up — and more time actually living.

★ I'm starting to feel grateful again.

★ I judge myself less when I look in the mirror.

★ I’m kinder to myself on bad days.

★ I have more space to care about the people around me.

★ The tiny things that used to irritate the sh*t out of me are bothering me less.

★ I forgive myself quicker for small mistakes I used to dwell on for hours (sometimes days… sometimes even years).

★ The horrific flashbacks of embarrassing moments are getting less and less.

★ I’m caring less about what people think — and more about figuring out who the hell I really am.

Self-acceptance really lightens the mental load. It frees you from constant self-analysis so you can actually be present in your own life.

I have good days and bad days, steps forward and steps backward — but for the first time, I can see the self-love light at the end of what felt like the longest, darkest tunnel. And I'm making my way there.

What Helped Me

I’m not an expert, just a hot mess in recovery. But if you’re feeling lost, maybe these things that helped me can help you too:

Resources:

📖 BOOK: 

• Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love that Heals Fear and Shame – Tara Brach This book completely changed my perspective on self-acceptance.

  If you have Spotify Premium, you can listen to it there like I did! (Listen here)

  ✨ OR Buy the book here  (I may earn a small commission if you purchase—at no extra cost to you!)

🖋️ OTHER BLOG POSTS:

• Self Care: Accepting Ourselves For Who We Truly Are Deborah Byrne Psychology Services (Read Here)

🎙️ PODCAST EPISODES:

• Radical Self-Acceptance and Personal Growth – The Positivity Xperience (Listen here)

• How to Actually Love and Accept Yourself – Jillian On Love (Listen here)

📄 PRINTABLES & WORKBOOKS:

• Daily Self-Acceptance Tracker

  This tracker helps you notice daily moments of self-acceptance - (Download here)

• Self-Acceptance Workbook

  A guided workbook to start your self-acceptance journey - (Download Here)

I really hope this was helpful in some way

If you’re struggling, please reach out for help. You deserve to be okay.

I’m in therapy myself, and just having someone to talk to can make all the difference.

You are not alone.

Want to chat?

Feel free to message me if you have questions — or just need to vent. ❤️

With Love,

A Weird Little Life ♡